Retirement Musings at a Sourdough Bakery

I was waiting in line at an artisan sourdough bakery in Colorado Springs a few days ago, enjoying the sunshine on a chilly mid-winter morning. Before the popular bakery re-opened during the pandemic, they installed an outdoor window where customers could buy their baguettes, whole grain loaves, and other baked goodies. Entry into the indoor space was no longer an option. The pandemic is now behind us, but the outdoor-only option remains. There is something rather pleasant about enjoying the aromas of fresh-baked bread while standing in line, outdoors, with other sourdough aficionados.

While in line, I heard a fellow a few people behind me say, “Today is the first day of my retirement.” I turned to get a look at the newly-retired person. He appeared to be in his 60s, hatless, rather bald on top with gray on the sides, and he was smiling. He was talking to another fellow, wearing a red ballcap, who also looked to be in his 60s.

Good for him, I thought. I hope he has a great first day of retirement. As I turned away to continue looking past the three people ahead of me at the loaves and rolls and cookies for sale, I heard who I figured was the fellow in the red hat say, “I have nine hundred eleven days until I retire.”  Wow, I thought – knowing precisely just how many days until he retires? That’s… interesting? weird? sad?

I soon walked away with a baguette, a couple of fennel rolls, plus a jalapeno roll. I also walked away thinking about those two fellows’ retirements. What will that newly-retired person’s life be like, now that his days belong to him, and not some job, some boss, some corporation or agency? What will he fill his days with? Volunteering? Traveling? Golf? Will he soon become bored, as I hear some retired folks say a few months after the novelty wears off?

And what will life be like as the other fellow continues to count the days – two and a half years of days – until he retires? The fact that he is counting the days has me thinking that he is ready to release the shackles of his employment. Is he wishing away those two and a half years so he can get on with his retirement?

I’ve since been thinking about my own retirement, or rewirement, as I like to refer to my new life. My days are no longer occupied with hiring and managing staff, writing grants, preparing for Board meetings, presenting to government officials, designing and tweaking programs, meeting with donors, regularly troubleshooting a million things – all the tasks and issues I dealt with as Executive Director of a vibrant and growing grassroots nonprofit I started and ran. The truth is, I don’t miss any of it. I am loving the lightness that not having all that responsibility, of not being attached to a schedule, that being a retired nonprofit Director allows.

I am loving having the openness in my days for more of whatever I want to do – walk, read more books, make and listen to music, improve my own sourdough bread-baking skills, hike, become a better birder… Just this morning, right after my wife Helene confirmed that we had a fully open day, with no appointments or anything else on the schedule, I felt this wave of contentment come over me. For so many years, my days were scheduled – filled with deadlines, appointments, must-do lists. I now love the days with nothing on the schedule.

That being said, not all of my rewirement days are unscheduled, nor are all of my days free of “work.” The fact is, I love to work, especially work that seeks to make a difference in my community and beyond. So I volunteer for a local Nature preschool and kindergarten. I quietly attend to small under-the-radar maintenance needs on local hiking trails. I manage the various administrative duties of a small nonprofit organization that Helene and I started several years ago that provides education and support for women regarding the climate crisis. I remain engaged with a multitude of societal issues, and pitch in where I can. And I write.

Yes, my days are more open, and they feel lighter. But they are still full, and I still work. What is missing are the deadlines, the pressure, the feeling of trying to fit five pounds of cheese into a four pound bag. My days have been rewired, and so have I. I am not retired. I am rewired!

For those of you who are already retired, how’s it going? Can you relate to being “rewired”? If you are not yet retired, but it is not too far in the future, are you counting the days? Are you ready for it?